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Setting Clear Expectations
As a Parent, setting clear expectations is crucial. Most Parents today are very busy and so we don’t take the time to be pro-active. Trust me, setting very clear expectations not only saves time, but also eliminates a great deal of stress. Whether you’re heading out to dinner, church, grocery shopping or a friend’s house, taking a few moments to lay out how that trip should look, is key to a more pleasant experience.
My daughter Tavia is 4 years old. Before we head out the door to go anywhere, we communicate about expected behavior. For example, we went over to a friends home to swim last week and before we left our house we talked about safety (no running), we also talked about using good manners. I explained to her that if we were “good guests” we would probably be invited back. I also asked her if she could think of any other ways we could be good guests and she said we could pick up after ourselves. We shared a high five and a huge smile! I try to make our chats interactive; what should we do? What shouldn’t we do and why?
To enhance this experience, always remember to recognize, respond and reward along the way. A big smile and a “good job” are very rewarding and they’re encouraging to your child. You’re showing positive attention so the need for negative attention is diminished. It’s positive and powerful and allows you to be a voice of enthusiasm and encouragement to your child.
Also, keep this in mind; you can spend a few moments sharing what desired behavior looks like up front, or you can spend a great deal more time correcting negative behaviors along the way. Talk to your child and answer their questions, it’s how they grow.
