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Children and Chores
The importance of a child's involvement in daily household chores goes far beyond just being helpful to all who live there. A recent study from the University of Minnesota showed chores to be the best predictor of a young adults' success in their mid-20s. However, if they did not begin participating until they were 15 or 16, the participation backfired and those subjects were less "successful." The assumption is that responsibility learned via household tasks is best when learned young. Click here to view study results.
As a parent I've done years of research and would like to share with you some of the helpful and insightful information that I've found. You may also find articles in our "Parents Corner" such as setting clear expectations and the meaning of the word discipline useful.
Making chores easy.
The Appreciation Station makes it much easier to accomplish the goal of a child's involvement without yelling or screaming. In fact, The Appreciation Station is a Positive Discipline tool and allows you to be a voice of encouragement, which is what every parent truly desires!
Begin with a few chores and build from there.
Parents may initially lay out a few chosen "chores" (putting laundry away, clearing kitchen table, etc.,) and/or "tasks" (making bed, brushing teeth, etc,) that you'd like to see completed. For example, "I would love to see you get up in the morning and make your bed, get dressed and come down for breakfast without having to ask you. That is something I would really appreciate!" A small list on the wall of clear expectations is very helpful to a young child. If the child is not able to read yet, take 5 minutes and cut out or draw pictures next to the simply written tasks. Next, go through the list together so you both have clarity of what is suppose to happen. When your child masters their list, or at least makes a good effort, you can then choose to reward with a token and celebrate the moment together!
Show how to do the chore.
Children need to know exactly what's expected of them. Therefore, it is a good idea for parents to make sure their children know exactly what their duties are. Parents should thoroughly go over the duties required, and should actually show their children how to do the chore at hand. At first, parents should monitor their children to make sure things are going well. Parents can reduce monitoring once children know how to do the chore.
Don't repeatedly remind or nag.
Parents should try to avoid falling into the trap of repeatedly reminding and/or nagging their children to complete their chores. Such reminding puts the responsibility for completion of the chores on the parents. Instead, parents should make sure that their children are given the sole responsibility for the completion of their chores. If a child forgets or refuses to do a chore, parents should say nothing and simply apply the consequences.
Don't do the chore if your child forgets or refuses.
Parents should not do their children's work for them. If parents get frustrated and give in and do their children's chores, children learn a number of things. First of all, children learn that their parents don't mean what they say and will not follow through. Secondly, children learn that if they hold out long enough someone will do their chores for them. Parents should simply apply consequences until their children comply.
Here's a guide from about.com we've found to be helpful in selecting age appropriate chores.
Ages 2 and 3
Chores 2-3 year olds can do:
- Help make the bed.
- Pick up toys and books.
- Take laundry to the laundry room.
- Help feed pets.
- Help wipe up messes.
- Dust with socks on their hands.
- Mop in areas with help.
Ages 4 and 5
Some chores preschoolers can do (in addition to the ones above):
- Clear and set the table.
- Dust
- Help out in cooking and preparing food.
- Carrying and putting away groceries.
Ages 6-8
Some chores that they are capable of (in addition to the ones above):
- Take care of pets.
- Vacuum and mop.
- Take out trash.
- Fold and put away laundry.
Ages 9-12
Some Chores preteens are capable of (in addition to the ones above):
- Help wash the car.
- Learn to wash dishes.
- Help prepare simple meals.
- Clean the bathroom.
- Rake leaves.
- Operate the washer and dryer.
Ages 13-17
Some chores teenagers are capable of (in addition to the ones above):
- Replace light bulbs and vacuum cleaner bags.
- All parts of the laundry.
- Wash windows.
- Clean out refrigerator and other kitchen appliances.
- Prepare meals.
- Prepare grocery lists.
Remember that children mature at their own pace and not all kids will be capable of advanced chores at the same age, just as some children may be ready for more difficult chores at a younger age. The most important guidelines are supervision and evaluation of your own child's needs and abilities.
In closing, to allow your child to participate in chores at home is to help create a child who is responsible. It also creates a child who is a team player, competent and self-reliant. We believe that's all a part of being a responsible and powerful parent. Besides, being a Mom doesn't mean being a maid.
